Wednesday, April 15, 2015

SFA Mourns the Loss of Two of our Own

On Monday afternoon, one of our students, Qudus Olatunde Jacobs was headed to a job interview.  With him was Kosolu Ughanze.  

As a small school, we all mourn this loss.  The only words of comfort that I have are that they are with God now and that everything happens for a reason.  I've known deep loss like this, and nothing hurts more than the loss of a child or dear friend.  My heart goes out to their families and friends.

Qudus was a student in the Nelson Rusche College of Business.  Kosulu was a student in the Richard and Lucille DeWitt School of Nursing.  

Please, everyone, as you are driving anywhere, please be careful and think about these two wonderful students that were taken from this world too soon.

Please, also remember that if you do go to SFA and need someone to talk to, there is counseling in the Rusk Building on the third floor in the Student Affairs Counseling Center.  

Here are pictures that were obtained from twitter, and I hope it's OK to use them.



Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Life with TBI

You know...I've said this before, and I will say it again...
Life with a person that has a TBI is not fun. 
Yes, there are good days, but lately the bad days outnumber the good.
We have just been coming off of a bad MONTH!!!
And, I got my usual (estimated) 4 hours of sleep last night and was woken up by someone laughing really loud...we won't say who. (wink)
So, what have I been doing?  Well, homework for one.
And, scrolling Facebook (that's a whole other post).

While scrolling, I came across this particular post from BrainLine.org about Trust.
You see, since DH had his surgery, and we found out that there was brain damage, it has been a battle for us.  Lately, there is no trust.  He has taken to password protecting all of his gadgets, and of course deleting text messages etc.  All my life it's been hard for me to trust people to begin with.  It is a very precious commodity that I do not give out often.  

The man that I fell in Love with is gone.  What is left is a person that is angry all the time, usually at me.  I live in a small town where there are no support groups that I know of.  And usually, when I turn to my friends, they say to leave him.  How can you leave someone when you KNOW THAT THE PROBLEM IS THE INJURY AND NOT YOUR SPOUSE?  

I know that he regrets yelling at me, most of the time.  I know that he is having a hard time understanding his feelings.  And to top all that off, is the added stress of graduating college (I'm so proud of him) and not being able to find a job.  It takes all of my strength to talk him down from a rage.  And, when Abby from BrainLine.org mentioned that there was "a look in his eyes" that she had never seen.  I KNOW THAT LOOK!!! I've experienced it.  And it is dangerous at times.  

When DH looks at me like that, I KNOW that it's not him, his eyes literally narrow.  It is a scary look, but I've learned to cope with it.  Yes, my marriage isn't perfect and I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with...but I also know that it takes strength to stay in the marriage.  Everyone tells me to leave, but I can't leave, because I know that there are times when the old hubby will filter through to the surface, and he will laugh and make jokes about me.  And those times are what keeps me going...however hard it can be.

Thursday, March 12, 2015

The birth of my Rogue from Ki Mobility

Since I've been trying really hard to raise the funds for the copay for this wheelchair, I figured I would share a little about the birth of it.  

When I went to Texas Mobility to get the whole process started, I had no clue what to do, what to pick or anything.  All I knew was that my doctor ordered a custom wheelchair with the Smart Drive.  Mary from the Tyler store was wonderful.  She got with me and suggested the Rogue from Ki Mobility.  It's a small company, but totally awesome.  When we measured me for my wheelchair, I had no idea what to do or how to order anything.  

So, I (of course) picked purple, and started doing research on the Rogue and Ki Mobility.  I would go several times to the website and look at my future chair and hope I could get it soon.
My gofundme wasn't going very much, even with the rewards I offered, so I made the decision to use my financial aid from school and pay for it, which caused a lot of problems at home.  
(So, please consider donating if you haven't, or even sharing the page to help deflect the costs)

After it was ordered, the waiting began.  I would go around on campus and tell myself...3 weeks...2 weeks...next week...and then 1 day.  I was counting down the days until it would be easier for me to get around.  

So, without further adieu, here are some pictures of the birth of RoadRunner (which is what Becca and I named my wheelchair).  

Here is the chair being cut and welded:






The excitement was building...then I got these pictures:





The color was AWESOME!!
And then I got these pictures:




This is what my chair (mostly) looks like.  And then they fit that sucker into this itty bitty box:


So, this is the birth of my wheelchair.  And then...the first full day using it:
It is so much easier to get around campus, and I'm building a LOT of arm muscles!  I've made my backpack lighter, and got rid of the umbrella (LOL).  Basically...I'm getting used to my chair.  Look for more posts of my wheelchair antics and follow me through this journey or learning how to use it, and enjoying getting around a LOT more!!

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Why? You ask. Do I need a wheelchair?

Since I've been on this quest for the copay for my wheelchair, I've had people...some that have known me for years) ask me why now? Those that don't know me at all ask me why? So...I've decided to explain why I do need a wheelchair, and why I don't just "walk" all the time.

I've had what's know as Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy for 20 years.  A lot of people that know this disease know that the time period itself is a big thing.  Throughout the years I've fought to NOT wear my AFO and to sometimes be able to wear heels.  I would work really hard and be able to wear pretty shoes for a couple months, and then my ankle would start hurting and I would have to wear my AFO again...it's a vicious cycle.  When my ankle was first injured, I spent a year on crutches.  The doctor finally diagnosed me with Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy and put me in the AFO.  I was never told exactly what it was.  I was given pain medicine and a brace and sent on my way.  It's been that way for the past twenty years.

When I first moved here to Lufkin, I was in a car accident.  (It wasn't my fault!!!) I was rear ended in the truck.  The lady did very little damage to our truck but totaled her car...I guess that shows how hard she hit me.  I went to the doctor and he did the MRI and I was diagnosed with 3 herniated discs in my neck.  It wasn't until the second MRI a year later that the tech noticed the syrinx, and sure enough they went back to the first MRI and it was missed.  My doctor explained that this was why my hands were going numb and gave me muscle relaxers and basically sent me on my way.  I was NEVER told what exactly the syrinx was or what it involved...everything I've learned has been through my own research.  Again, I was given a diagnosis and medicine and send on my way.

Last Spring, my ankle started getting a lot worse.  I had to start wearing my brace again, but this time my ankle didn't start feeling better after a while.  Then, last fall, when it was raining, my ankle was hurting so bad that my doctor suggested crutches full time.  It helped for short term walks etc, but my ankle has been getting worse.  Then...there was the Cowboy's game fiasco.  Long story short...a 15 minute walk for normal people turned into a 45 minute walk for me because I was in so much pain.  That is when my doctor decided that it was time for me to use a wheelchair on trips like that and at school.  For twenty years I've tried to deny that there was anything wrong with me.  I've tried to grit through the pain and ignore it, and there comes a time when you just have to say, OK...I see it your way...it's time to pay attention.

Now with school started, it's getting harder for me to walk around campus.  I'm still trying to raise the funds for the copay.  I'm pretty active on campus, and the one thing that a lot of people do know about me, is that I believe in Random Acts of Kindness, which I of course perform every week.  (I won't say how, that would ruin the fun) So, this is the rundown on why I need the wheelchair.  Here is the reason that the copay is so expensive  It's called a Smart Drive from Max Mobility.  This would help me push my wheelchair without hurting my hands much.  And the chair itself is going to be the Rogue from Ki Mobility.

Now, I also know that as Texans (most of us anyway), we have a big heart.  If you can't afford to donate anything on my gofundme, please just share it.  Every little bit helps, and it would make Marci a little less crabby!!!