Saturday, June 24, 2017

It's Been TWO years.

It's been two years since I went to Chicago.
Two years since everything in my life was normal.
Two years since I started this rollercoaster that is now my life.

A lot has happened in those two years.
I came back to a new life.
I'm no longer a wife.
I no longer live in Lufkin.
I'm no longer a member of PBL...though I hope that changes this year.
I've gravitated more towards politics.
I've learned who I am again...
For a while, I lost myself...
I forgot who I was.
I put Mike first...all the time.

My family has been torn apart.  
The man that I thought I knew, have known for 30 years
CHANGED.
So, now I'm divorced...again.  I've been absent for a while to try to get my life straight.  
I still have my hard days.
I still think that I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone.
I still face the uncertainty...
EVERY.
SINGLE.
DAY.
I wake up scared, I go to bed scared.
The life that I once had, the security, is gone.

BUT
I've made wonderful friends.
I've learned a lot.
I've found who I am again.

You know, people ask me constantly if I were able to go back and change anything, would I do it.  My answer is, and has always been
NO.
Everything that has happened to me, everything that I've gone through, every tear that I've cried, every heartache, every fear, has contributed to make me who I am...and I wouldn't change that for the world.  Yeah, it's hard...it hurts.  
IT SUCKS! But, I wouldn't change it for the world.

Two Years....it seems like a lifetime ago.

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