Monday, June 1, 2020

Slowly Coming Back

For the past couple of years, I've posted mainly out of responsibility.
A responsibility to not neglect my blog.
A responsibility to say I still have a blog.
A responsibility to you, my readers, who have followed my life for the past however many years.

It felt like a chore, like something I had to do...not wanted to do.
Now...

I feel like paying attention to my blog again.
I want to write more.
I want to post more.
I want to share more.

But of what?
The fact that I spent the past year homeless?
My daily struggles?
Loneliness?
Fighting for some sense of normalcy?

I've lost so much these past five years.
Five seems like a nice round number, huh?
Anyway...I"ve managed to hold on to my blog, but that's about all I've held onto.
I've lost a couple places to live.
I've lost family.
I've lost everything I owned.

And still, I perservere.
Still, I wake up every day with a smile on my face.
I say "Good Morning" to the couple of my friends that are close enough for me to message them at 6am.

So, what do I write about now?
What do I say?
How do I start over?

See, here...I'm starting to get into a routine. 
I sit all day at Denny's...mainly for the internet, but also because they're like family.
They are family!

It's hard to believe that the people that work at a restaurant were there for me when I needed...
Someone
or 
Something.
I didn't know I needed it, and I wasn't looking for it.  But it found me.
And...while I may have my bad days, it has been good for me.

I was joking with one of the night managers yesterday after there was a bad experience with a customer cussing at one of the servers.
The customer said "the customer is always right", and I mentioned, that I'm a customer...
They VERY POINTEDLY told me that I am not a customer, that I'm Marci...

(I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing!!!)

So, I"m slowly coming back.
To my blog, to my life, to being me.
Hopefully, we can look for more posts from me.
Hopefully, I will be more active here, and my other social media platforms.
And...maybe...just maybe...I will do a couple of videos in the future...I'm still camera shy though!